Tears in heaven (Angelofdeath and I )

"It's because you found out the real me"

"I used to be the leader of us . You always followed me " I said.

"And that changed because I changed"

"I guess...I think I´m weaker now . I´m not the same as before ,either "

"What do you mean?"

"I used to have a strong personality. I didn´t get affected so easily by things and I was not too emotional . Remember how I always got you to do things for me and you did them ? I don´t know I used to do it , but I persuaded you and the rest of our group to do what I wanted you all to do . And you were my most loyal follower , that´s why you became my best friend " I smiled.

"Thing is...I grew up love... "

"But I don´t understand ...Why are things so complicated for us now ? " I cupped her cheek gently , looking at her. "Sometimes I feel like I´m losing you , like if I weren´t important for you anymore ...like if you were treating me as any other girl you have slept with. Kat, do you still have feelings for me or is it just sexual desire between you and me ? Don´t lie to me . You are hurting me, sweetie "

"I'm confused right now...yes I have feelings for you but it's not fair to Alex and I want a relationship like in the book The Faces Of Love..."

"I want a stable relationship . I have no idea if I can have that with you . You are always confusing me and I don´t know what to expect anymore of us. I don´t even know if we did the right thing by becoming lovers besides being best friends..." I held back my tears. Why couldn´t she act like Kat , my best friend . I wanted her to hold me as she had done so many times before and tell me everything would be ok . I wanted her to rub my back and whisper nice things into my ear to soothe me.

I hug her and kiss the top of her head, "I'm sorry love...don't cry alright I don't want my girl sad"

I rested my head against her chest . "Whisper nice things into my ear , Kat. I love when you do it, it soothes me "

"You're beautiful, sweet, kind, innocent to a point" I whisper in her ear

"How come I´m innocent to a point ?" I asked smiling at her words.

"Because you're not innocent but you act like it"

"You are right about that " I whispered.

"When was the last time you slept"

"Why do you ask, darling ?" I asked.

"You look extremely tired"

"Well, I haven´t been able to sleep well , lately" I admitted.

"How long?"

"I don´t know , since we fought " I admitted. "I only get to sleep about three hours at night "

I smooth down her hair, "Lets take a nap"

I raised my head to look at her . "I have wanted to tell you something I did realize little time ago "

"And whats that?"